Tobi's Foot
by BaronBamboozle
Summary: Being Tobi, he is sitting on the kitchen floor right in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the night. Deidara just wants his midnight snack. Really Fluffy. Deitobi, though it's more friendly then romantic. One shot with an alternate ending.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Being Tobi, he is sitting on the kitchen floor right in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the night. Deidara just wants his midnight snack.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago but only felt like posting it now. There is an alternate ending that I'll post as chapter two.

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"Move," the young artist demanded, almost tripping over his partner for not seeing him through the moonlight seeping from the dainty windows.

The bottom of Tobi's foot tingled with sleep as he sat in the middle of the tiled kitchen floor. If he got up now, he'd end up waddling around like a duck with a crazy leg and a knack for dancing. Not to forget all the strange faces and noises he'd make while almost bursting out in laughter, but not quite. This would only lower his petit blonde partner's opinion on him; which was near rock bottom as it was. If it hit any lower, the brunette would be treated as a five year old instead of the seven year old status he currently holds. He didn't want to loose his refrigerator privileges. Hidden eyes looked up at his teacher and stated fact, "I'm not moving."

Deidara thought logically, but his voice was strained with the illogical statement from his partner, "You're sitting in the middle of the damn kitchen floor!" Not to mention being up this late at night. He took a moment more to formulate a threat that would change his student's mind, "I'll step all over you if you don't move! I mean it!" Recently, Tobi had started to take the artist's threats as empty; most of the time they were, but Deidara wouldn't hesitate this time. Well, maybe for a second; but no longer.

Folding his arms like a child, the orange snail complained, "I don't wanna."

Deidara's insides flamed with frustration. He had thought about it many times, and many times came to the conclusion that Tobi was created for the sole purpose of making his life difficult. In a way, Deidara had come to accept that; but seeing him sit in the middle of the kitchen floor was too much for this blonde. The Uchiha was making a simple trip to the refrigerator for a fruit cup snack an unbearably difficult task. It was this sort of behavior that pushed the young terrorist over the edge.

Deidara shouted louder, folding his arms in mock, "Move!"

"No."

The cross-legged angel managed to let out shrilled laughter as toes came down a little too close to a rather uncomfortable area. Luckily, the well manicured foot only hit his thigh but that hurt too. The abusive teenager lifted his foot once more, informing Tobi that the close encounter wasn't a mistake, "Say 'good bye' to your kids." Deidara was doing the world a public service.

Tobi cried out the distasteful truth, a hand in defense from impending doom, "I can't move! My leg fell asleep!"

Deidara was only inches away from putting an end to Tobi's family tree, but reassigned his left foot back to support instead. The masked ninja let out a sigh of relief, a hand on his chest to help steady his breathing. A storm brew within the ravaging artist, giving his partner only a few seconds to catch his breath before the storm escaped the realms of Deidara's skin. Heel pressed against manhood in a quick painful motion. Tobi was no longer sitting cross-legged, but in a fetal position in the middle of the damn kitchen floor.

The blonde monster shouted before stepping on his partner once more (this time on the side of his rib cage), "Your foot fell asleep? What kind of a sorry excuse is that?" Why no, it did not explain why he sat in the middle of the kitchen floor in the first place, and now added a new perplexity as to why he sat in the middle of the damn kitchen floor long enough for his foot to fall asleep. There were some things that Deidara would never understand about Tobi. Among them was how he'd laugh when Deidara hit him; pain wasn't a laughing matter. Masochistic, maybe.

The young artist sat himself cross-legged on the floor next to Tobi; his fruit cup could wait. He answered before his partner could ask, "I'll wait it out with you. It can't take that long." There were times where Tobi just didn't understand his blonde partner. He only knew Deidara to have two moods, angry and upset. Not the crying kind of upset, but the disappointed kind of upset. His current mood was neither one of these; he almost seemed content, maybe happy.

Each flick from the blonde to the base of the brunette's foot spread in tingling waves. "Wake up, Mr. Tobi's toesies," the artist said as if each toe had a face and personality. Maybe Deidara was just crazy. After flicking each toe twice, the artist walked his middle and pointer finger up his partner's leg to his hip, "Wake up Mr. Tobi's leg." Yep, defiantly crazy.

Before the blonde could reach his partner's thigh, the gloved hand brushed him off. Not appreciating being told where he could or could not put his hands, Deidara formed a fist and left quite the bruise on his already groveling partner's thigh. "What are you doing up so late?" the orange snail asked with long pauses between almost every word. Whether this was to think over his sentence carefully, or because he was in too much pain to speak in full sentences, the artist didn't know.

"Is it a crime to want a cup of peaches in the middle of the night?"  
Tobi couldn't help but snicker, "You crave like a pregnant woman, sempai." The artist took offense almost immediately, followed by bruising the Uchiha's shin with one big whoop followed by smaller, harmless ripples of fist.

Beating the brunette's shin in a rythemathic pattern, causing small discomforting shockwaves to surge through the angel he returned the question, "And yourself?"

"Same, though instead of peaches, I tend to grab string cheese or a slice of cake," Tobi struggled to say, appendages still pulsing with pain.

"No wonder you're chubby," the artist sassed back, feeling that a fat insult was the equivalent of a pregnant one. Deidara felt a tinge of guilt as the brunette didn't respond back with an insult of his own. An impending silence filled the musk air as both pondered conversational question, though unfortunately, the weather wasn't really relevant this time at night. It was in this quiet that Deidara remembered why he was first troubled with the orange lollipop, "So why do you sit on the kitchen floor?"

The sound of thinking emitted from Tobi like radiation from a nuclear power plant. He needed to think of a way that it would be comprehensible to his young teacher. Just when Deidara thought his student forgot the question and was to repeat it, Tobi spoke, "Habit, you know? Don't you do the same?"

Instead of answering his partner's question, the yellow monster asked his own, "Why did it become habit in the first place?"

The brunette was caught in thought once more before presenting a response, "I guess I'm just sleepy, but hungry too. So I try to sleep while eating."

Deidara didn't need to know any more to understand it was a stupid idea. He was rubbing the temples of his forehead with his free hand from the headache Tobi was causing, "The only thing that seems to fall asleep are your feet, dummy. Why don't you just grab food before you go to bed and leave it at your bedside so you don't even have to get up to eat? Or just grab the food and go back to bed?"

The orange piece of candy was too busy wiggling his tingling toes to listen to Deidara, but pretended he did with a generic answer, "Yeah, I guess." The room turned to silence once more for only a minute or so before Tobi proudly announced, "My foot's awake, sempai!"

The brunette stepped up on his feet eagerly, almost tap dancing to show the mobility of his feet. Deidara, on the other hand, took a great amount of effort to stand, brushing his backside off. The young teen gave off sarcastic compliments as he took a step towards the refrigerator to finally get his fruit cup, but the moment he stepped with his left leg; a rush of ants on numb skin crawled up from his toes to his knee. Feeling a sudden sense of alarm as his leg was attacked, he clung on to the nearest stable object, being Tobi, seeing as he just stood up himself. The idea hit Deidara that his grasp for life by tugging on the shoulders of Tobi's shirt could have easily been mistaken for an indecisive act of kindness known as a hug. Before the blonde could explain himself, the brunette's own arms wrapped around under Deidara's. Tobi lifted his shorter partner an inch off the ground as he squeezed the breath right out of him as he spun around Tobi for one revolution like a merry go round. Even as the Uchiha let go of the artist, Deidara kept a grip in the sides of Tobi's night shirt.

Once again, Deidara was interrupted before he could speak as two ceramic kisses landed on both cheeks, "Thank you sempai for keeping me company. We should do this more often." As Tobi stepped away he felt the artist's tug on his shirt. Looking back at the teenager, he questioned, "Yes?"

Feeling ashamed to say it, Deidara stated with reddened cheeks and his eyes to the ground, "My foot fell asleep."

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R&R


	2. Alternate Ending

The young artist forcefully grasped his partner's wrist, pulling him onto his feet. Tobi could stand with some support, but rather uncomfortably as he throbbed in unfamiliar places and ants crawled up and down his right calf. Putting hands tightly on his partner's shoulders, the artist decided to play teacher, "You're lucky that I know the cure for a sleepy limb."

Tobi questioned humorously, "And after being hit in the balls?" His only response was a knee to his lower back.

Deidara's hand and legs moved accordingly as to what he needed to fix about Tobi's posture, all the while speaking out his actions, "No slouching, legs straight, about a foot apart, arms to your sides, I said no slouching, Tobi. Make a stance as if you were playing hop scotch, that's right, one foot up, Tobi. With that foot, place it over your other thigh, kinda like when you were sitting on the floor, but not quite, Tobi. Now lean forward so that you almost feel yourself tipping over, but not really. You got it, Tobi. Now bend your elbows and put your hands as high up the sides of your chest as they can go. Good."

He kept one hand on Tobi as he wandered around the kitchen grabbing odds and ends. He licked a spoon and stuffed it under Tobi's mask so the metal touched his forehead. Of course, this was after hanging paired cherries over his ears, placing a bundle of bananas on his back and rubbing a coat of chocolate pudding over his feet.

All it could be described as was painful and silly. The knot of body parts could feel both sharp and dull pains at joints as they bent directions they weren't really supposed to go.

The moment Deidara let go, his partner fell over as the pudding slipped under his feet from his unbalanced stance. Deidara must have forgotten something from this Iwa home remedy. It hit him. The determined teen picked Tobi up once more, assuring him, "I forgot to put the garlic anklet around your sleepy foot and to rub warm butter on your-"

"I'm cured," Tobi felt the need to exclaim as if Jesus himself had ripped the sleep out of his leg. He wrapped his arms around Deidara in overbearing hug. And kissed him on both cheeks, less then an inch of ceramic keeping his lips from touching the artist's flesh, "Hallelujah, my leg is sleepy no more!"

Before the blonde could say another word, the orange snail limped away from the monster and the kitchen. There were just some things that Deidara knew he'd never understand about Tobi. Harsh lips smiled as Tobi stagger off.

Bullshit.

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R&R I would love to know which ending you preferred :]


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